_ _ _ _ _

I want to wake up and feel no burden; just that I can look forward to a day of doing nothing or absolutely everything. I want to have enough time to reflect on my life and actually be content with it. I want to be excited for something and the not feel guilty because I know that I deserve it. I want to be included. I want to see myself through someone else's eyes. I want to be able to achieve my goals. I want to live everyday to the fullest.

I hate the world.

I'm so stressed.

Yes.

4 da laffz

Memories.

Comparing photos from year 7 to now. It's freaky how I've known you for a decade now. You're alright, I guess.

Good morning.

- I woke up at 6:10 today and only played an hour of piano because I have an eco test to study for :(
- I love cross country, can't wait to do it today!
- I went for a 60 minute run yesterday.
- my legs are surprisingly not that sore.
- they were really sore last night though.
- wondering if I should enter this piano competition. First prize is $1300!!!
- not that I will get first prize lol.
- I really need to do my laundry.
- and change my bed sheets.
- I haven't done my chem homework.
- I haven't studied for my German irregular verbs test.
- we didn't get a day off yesterday. Even though it was Anzac day.
- we had a Anzac day service in the rain.
- stupid boarding school.
- I need to buy a flask, so that I can bring tea to class.
- I ate too much carbs yesterday.
- ew.

Baby you light up my world like nobody else.

I'm kind of obsessed with one direction. It's kind of a late obsession because I never really understood all the hype that surrounded them. When I first saw them and heard their songs, I thought they were okay but not amazing or anything. It wasn't until recently that I've started to realize that I'm kind of in love with them. Lol. My favourite one directioner is defiantly Harry. He is so cute! And gorgeous and amazing. Even though everyone loves him, I don't care, he is the best one by far!
The hottest one would be Liam. He is nice to look at. And I don't care what other people think but I think that Zayn is ugly.

Motivation

Tomorrow I'm going to be very productive.
I will not watch 90210 while doing prep.
I will not eat a shitload of crap.
I will not sleep in until 7:20.

I will wake up at 6:10 and go to music prac even if it is raining.
I will eat healthily.
I will revise for my eco test.
I will go to cross country training and actually try.
I will learn my German verbs.
I will go to my German convo.
I will finally start on my general knowledge.
I will try to not be so pessimistic.

Invisible.

Morning selfie

FML

I just can't be bothered with life anymore. I hate school. I hate winter. I hate the shit food that the Alliance people serve us. I hate the rain. I hate homework. I hate waking up at 6:10 every morning. I hate running in the cold. I hate having tests. I hate memorizing my general knowledge.

I should just drop out of school and become a baker. Then I can bake heaps of bread and cakes and donuts, and then eat them all while watching modern family. That is the dream life.

I don't understand how anyone can be anorexic

Food just tastes so damn good. My personal favourite? Hot jam donuts. Delicious.

I said that I was going to finish my maths work requirements this weekend.

I lied.

Is your heart taken?

I found the best bargains at the skin and threads sale today. Three tops from $80 each reduced to $5 each. And I purchased more Kora Organics skin products. They have made my skin so much better, and I absolutely adore the smell of the cleanser.

It's 1:21pm

So far I have:
- finished my chemistry homework
- gone to cross country training,which consisted of doing a beep test and going for a 4.2 km run right after.
- washed my hair
- played 1 hour of piano
- not eaten anything except for the banana and apple that I had for breakfast this morning :(
- made my way home

Now I'm waiting to go shopping and to go and buy sone food. Starving so badly.

Hot showers on nights like this.

I'm so happy that it's the weekend. And I can't wait to go shopping tomorrow. I'm just so tired and drained. Why am I still at school?

My legs are aching.

- I love cross country.
- it keeps me fit with all the runs, spin and swimming sessions we have been doing.
- I had a great catch up with lil today.
- the baroque music test was alright.
- I had two small yoyo's for supper tonight.
- and I'm still hungry.
- I need to buy a lamp.
- I'm going home this weekend. Yayy!
- why won't Mr Grave email me back with my approved article?
- I only played 2 hours of piano
- I haven't touched my violin since Tuesday.
- I need to memorize my general knowledge.
- I hope mum remembered to put in a exeat request for me.
- I'm going to play 4-5 hours of piano tomorrow.

Another thought.

Totally contradicting my statement of eating lots of meat, I actually want to become a vegetarian. I've thought about it for ages and I'm basically a vego at school, but I eat so much meat on the weekends. Maybe I'll become a part time vego? Lol.

I think I have iron deficiency

My hair has been falling out like crazy these holidays. I don't really mind because I have really thick hair and I kind of wanted to get it thinned, but not this way! It's so annoying. Anyway, I was talking to a friend today and she suggested that I might have iron deficiency. Apparently, when you don't have enough iron, your hair falls out. I don't understand how I could possibly have low iron because I eat meat quite frequently. Maybe I'll take some iron tablets? Or I'll buy this iron supplement that is also really good for my energy levels.

Dinner

Really should get started on chem...

So I'm back at school and I actually am quite excited for school tomorrow. I love my dorm, it's just me and kebs and some French exchange student, but she won't be here until exeat. I'm currently lying on my bed listening to one direction pumping from the speakers in the other dorm and debating about whether or not I should do my chem in my room or in my study. My dad is leaving tomorrow and I hope he has a safe flight. I'm going to miss the holidays.

The first day of school.

Was actually not that bad.
- I woke up at 6:10, feeling very awake
- I played 1 hour and a half of piano
- I didn't get in trouble for not doing any of my holiday homework.
- although I probably am going to get in trouble tomorrow for not doing anything for economics.
- I had the best lunch, a tofu sandwich, with Valli, Georgie and jaklina.
- Strings was surprisingly fun.
- I know, I'm a weirdo who likes playing the violin.
- I ate dinner while watching modern family.
- played a total of 3 hours of piano today. Yay!!
- had a pretty productive prep session.
- supper consisted of dip and crackers.

I think that I'm getting back into routine :)

Delaying the process of getting up because I don't want to go back to school :(

Today I have to:
1. Pack my bags
2. Do my CAS hours
3. Play piano
4. Attempt homework
5. Think about how screwed I am for school
6. Go back to school
7. Write a timetable

I miss my old room.

Even though it was a bit lonely in there. Here is a photo from the start of the year when I just moved in. It looks bare because I didn't put any decorations up yet.

Necessary

I need to: -finish my holiday homework - start on my general knowledge - not get in trouble in my piano lesson tomorrow - buy a dress to wear to the Clyde dinner - write an email to Macca regarding next Saturday's dentist appointment - pack for school - go for a run - make a timetable for next term - clean my room/wardrobe - go to the skin and threads/dion lee sale - buy kora skin products - practice a ridiculous amount of piano everyday - be healthy again

Things that I am dreading:

1. My piano exam
2. Mid year exams
3. Going back to school
4. All of the above

Why are the holidays ending so quickly?

It makes me so sad to think that I will be back in Corio on Monday night, sleeping in my dorm and going to classes the next day. These holidays have gone way too fast and I simply haven't had enough time to do everything that I wanted to do. Next term is a long one and it's going to be the most stressful term of all. Mid year exams, my last piano exam and the dreadful life of not having my own room is going to make me break down so many times. I just hope that I use my time wisely and achieve the best that I can. I can't wait until the next holidays.

After one too many cheesecakes

Study date number 2

I had another study date with Valli today and it was quite productive. We had sushi for lunch and then we went for tea and cakes after. We are obviously addicted to cheese cake lol

Went for some Japanese

Mum found this small Japanese restaurant in Chinatown. It's such a cute little place.

Pretty little liars

I know that I'm really delayed but I just started catching up on Pretty Little Liars and that shit is so scary. Fuck, the episode with the dolls scared the shit out of me. The guys on the show are sooo hot though. Ezra, wren and caleb Ohmahgod

Hi, I'm Nancy and I'm a shopaholic

I always have this urge to buy things that are expensive and that I will never wear. There are so many examples of this hanging in my wardrobe right now. Here is exhibit A:
Mustard yellow top from Zara costing $50 (I bought this in China for 400 yuan). It has a really pretty back but the colour is so awkward, I don't really know what to wear it with. Hence, why I haven't worn it at all even though I purchased it last year. This isn't that expensive but if it was from the Zara in Australia, it probably would be. Somebody please help me match it with something/ tell me how to wear this top.

I really want to watch the Titanic in 3D

I love Leonardo Dicaprio. Hate that bitch Kate Winslet though, go die in a hole.

Cheesecake and Vegetarian pizza

I went to the state library with Val today to study for Chem. Its so busy there, nearly all the tables were occupied and so many bitches took our spot. It was actually a very productive day and we had lunch at Brunetti which was literally sex in my mouth. Vego pizza all da way! We also ran into Meggy and some year 12 from last year called Tom. Love bumping into random people in the city. Here are some food photos and a selfie of myself because I was being way too productive with homework to take photos hehe

Call me maybe

People that I'm obsessed with right now:
1. Peeta Mellark
2. Caleb Rivers
3. Ezra Fitz
4. Damon Salvatore

Mah dream boyz

I'm a Sass and Bide lover

I love that store so much, I can always find jeans/dresses/tops for every occasion. If I could, I would actually buy the whole store. So, last Friday, I went shopping for a deb dress and I searched everywhere and I couldn't find one. Then, I stepped into Sass and Bide and my perfect dress was just hanging gracefully on the hanger. I tried it on of course, with this beautiful belt and felt the "this is the one" feeling that you get when you finally accomplish your goal when shopping. Unfortunately, after looking at the price tag and discovering that it cost $550 and the belt cost $190, I didn't buy it. But damn that dress was amazing. Yesterday, I was searching for a white dress to wear to kimlynn's and I went to Sass and Bide. Yet again, I found another perfect dress. Luckily this time it was on sale so I purchased it!! I didn't buy the belt though, because it cost the same amount as the dress, $170, and the Asian within me didn't approve. My point of this story: when I finish high school, I'm going to work at Sass and Bide, just so I can get the employers discount and buy everything that I want.

Kimlynn's white party

It was pretty fun and the food was amazing. I got to wear my new shoes so I'm happy. My feet were killing when I got home though.

My darling Peeta

Why is he so cute?

Bargain hunter

So I went shopping today and purchased some Tony B's and a very pretty sass and bide dress that I will wear numerous times. Oh, and a belt that matches perfectly with the red/pink shoes. They were so cheap, it was amazing. I'm officially better at finding and buying bargains than Doris is hehehe

It's 7:13 and I'm awake.

Why can't I sleep in on the holidays? It sucks lol. Well, I have a party today and I have nothing to wear. I also don't have a present either which is really bad because she's one of my close friends. Even though she can be crazy and a little weird sometimes, I still love her and we've been together since year 7. So I guess that counts for something. Okay, I'm going to have a shower now and get dressed for the big day I have ahead of me. Lol.

Chilling at Barwon heads

Being kool katz

Looking at the messages between me and some slut

WE ARE JUST WAY TOO FUNNY!!! Lolz.

Mixed feelings

Just read the most depressing book. It makes me reflect back to year 8 when I went through a very stupid phase. I guess very one experiences something like it once in a while and you can never really not feel that way. But I guess that it all depends on the way you cope with it. I didn't handle those feelings very well back then, and I still don't now. I feel guilty and ashamed all the time and sometimes, I feel like repeating those actions but I always stop myself before I do. It's not like a have a problem but I guess it will always stay with me. I want to be confident but I'm not, and the addictive nature of it will never go away.

Hate dinners comprising of only adults, little kids and me.

Someone please save me, and then take me to KFC for some chicken cause I'm craving it.

Another one of my delicious sandwiches

It's going to be a very productive day

- play 4 hours of piano
- go for a run and do ab exercises
- play 1 hour of violin
- clean my room
- make my bed
- shower and wash my hair
- go shopping at harbor town
Just a casual selfie of me

Westy deb

I really can't be bothered writing about how amazing it was, but here are four of my fav photos from that night!

I need to buy a white dress

And some new heels and a birthday present for Kimlynn. I will also officially start exercising and keeping a healthy diet tomorrow. Everyone is losing weight and I feel like a lazy fatty. I eat my heart out everyday, it's actually that bad. I wish I had the dedication and motivation that some people have :( I really need to go shopping for some winter clothes. And catch up with so many people. I wish the holidays will just go on forever, I don't want to go back to Corio

I'm a great chef

Made myself the best lunch today! Avocado, tomato, spinach and cheese on rye bread. Yum for mah tum

I went to watch the hunger games

Finally, with Kimlynn and Priya on Monday. We were going to go gold class but they were all booked out so we just went to the normal cinemas at crown. I swear crown cinemas are enormous. The movie was so amazing and I'm officially in love with Peeta. We're going to get married and have 2 kids.

My blogger app isn't working properly

Love the holidays

I went for a run today and it felt so good after not running for like 2 months. I now love running again. I'm also very, very, very disappointed that A-day never happened Lolz. She just let's me down every time.